Don't hold your breath

I'm literally working on seven different posts and to be realistic, few of them will make it to the blog during this week. Nothing seems to be good enough these days. I might chuck out something for the hell of it, though. Like I'm doing now.

In the meantime, check out what people googled in order to get to my blog:

"crazy stupid people" and "fancy nancy whores" are definitely my favourites. Yeah, and "stealing a pen" isn't so bad either. Who are you people? Though I'm willing to bet that my search list isn't any better. Where does that leave me?

"Wops, I think I got too close, 'cause now he's telling me I'm the girl that he likes most".

Rediscovering Kate Nash this evening. The album "Made of Bricks" is pretty close to my heart and I'm planning on diving into her other albums soon.

If you're into british pop that's fun and candid, I suggest you check out her music.

Sunday is for Studying

 I've always believed that Sunday is the ultimate day of the week for me to get some studying done and there are probably alot of students who share my view. It's a pretty relaxing day where pressure and everyday stress seems to be absent for some reason. Unfortunately, I'm never able to do anything constructive.

Nancy, when are you going to learn? WHEN will you realise that studying at home never works? You end up doing stupid things when you try that.

You see, the minute I open a book I end up watching teen mom on MTV:

Next, I go to reddit.com looking for stuff that makes me go "aaaaawwww...":

 These pictures are good examples of why I don't care if I'm allergic to cats. I cuddle them and hope for the best. As long as I don't need an ambulance, it's all good.

Now here's where I get desperate beyond measurement. My fingers start typing "people.com" in the web browser and in a mysterious way I get really interested in stories like these:

That's five minutes of my life I will never get back, by the way.

Then my dad walks in and announces that it's dinner-time and I'm all, "yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, just give me a few seconds" like I was in the middle of something important. At this point, I realise that this is a hopeless case, but I am willing to give it another go after dinner.

So after dinner I park my bum infront of the book and get ready to tame it.

"It's not over until it's over!" I scream inside my head while I mentally pound my chest with both hands like a cave man.

Before you know it, I'm at the movies watching Star Wars in 3D:

I know it doesn't look like it, but I was a happy camper here. I had me Willy Wonka Nerds and me Snapples. That's all you need at the cinema. In addition to a good movie, of course. Which it was. At this point I finally admit defeat, so I decide: "Screw it. I'll do my studying tomorrow."

I find it astonishing that I was able to get myself through 13 years of school with an attention span of less than 15 seconds, and that I'm still dragging myself through an education. I obviously had to choose medical school, a course which requires the least work to get through. I definitely see potentially entertaining episodes in the near future.

Clearly, the conclusion is to stop studying.

Btw: What's the deal with the Gungans?

Small talk

- The weather has been such a tease the last few days, hasn't it..?
- Yeah. Revealing the bare asphalt and all in order to just cover it up again with snow. 
- I know. What a whore. 
- You're not a whore if you're just teasing. And it's not like the weather's making money on it. But, yeah, what a whore.

A turtle for your thoughts?

In order for this post to even make any sense (notice how I'm writing this as if every post I publish makes sense?), I need to fill you in on some background information:

People used to call me "the Naked Turtle".

Now that we got that out of the way, I can tell you that I possess quite a large quantity of turtles (or some are surely tortoises if you want to go there). At least for an average person, I think. I swear to God, I haven't bought any of them! Even though that nickname has been left behind ages ago, people tend to still buy me turtle-stuff. Here are some examples:

This was one of my first turtles ever received.

All I know is that this one's from Prague, and it has weels underneath so that its head and tail can move back and forth simultaniously as the turtle itself moves back and forth.

I got those two from my ex-boyfriend, actually. What are your thoughts on keeping turtles from past relationships? What do you do with them?

 

Haha, NOOO, I'm just kidding. You're alright, ex-boyfriend. Besides, I would never do that to turtles, and they were totally in on the joke. 

Moving on.

I would claim that this is the most authentic-looking one I have.

I know this doesn't look like a turtle...

... but it is. One of the most huggable I have.

This is definitely the most impressive.

I suppose I'm putting up this post to tell you that I might have outgrown my turtle shell. Frankly speaking, if I were to receive any more of these, as cute as they are, I wouldn't have any idea of what to do with them. Killing them like I demonstrated above isn't an option. I'm letting you guys know that it's an end of an era, a closed chapter, and that it's over.

Unless. UNLESS they are wearable and don't come as a knitted sweater with a huge turtle print on.

I think jewellery are the exception in most cases. Girls, huh.

To people who replace their friggin' iPhones every time a new one comes out.

I'm not saying that it's wrong to enjoy ourselves and buy things we want. Not at all, actually. I'm just saying, the next time you consider throwing away something you've only had for a month and that works perfectly fine in order to replace it, think twice. Will it make you happier?

Ever since I got back from my backpacking trip, I've realised how little I can get by with when it comes to stuff. I don't really need anything! So I basically stopped my previous constant need of... Buying. I mean, I still buy stuff, but only when I need it or if I really want it. And when I purchase something in the first place, I like to pay a little extra for the quality so it lasts longer. At the end of the day, though, there are surprisingly few things that I want, because the things I really want cannot be bought.

Amazing sunrise over Byron Bay, Australia.

If people were able to lift their heads up from iPads, smart phones, computers and their huge pile of stuff, they would probably be in for a treat.

Anyways.

This is a video I think everyone should see. I did have plans on writing a post about something along the lines of this, but this video gets the message across way better.

Attempt of appreciation: The Sun

Today, I tried to appreciate the sun. I went outside and stood there for a bit while letting it hit my face. This was the conversation I had with myself:

- It's too bright.
- But it is quite nice, actually. Some light for a change.
- That's true. But I can't see anything, though.
- Yeah... Not cool to be blinded.
- It's cold.
- Kind of, but not compared to how it was about a month ago. You can't really say it's cold outside now. I do have to agree on that I'm freezing. I could've put some more clothes on, so it's really my fault. I get stupid like that sometimes.
- Yeah, I suppose you do...
- I think people are really excited now that it's sunny outside.
- Yeah... Screw them.
- You're right, screw them.
- You can't blame them, though.
- Suppose I can't. Wish I could.
- It's too bright, it really is.

And then I went inside.

Little Italy in Melbourne. I hope to end up like this again at some point.

Groovin'

Inevitable Life

Sometimes I wonder why I grew up. And I'm writing it like I had a choice in the first place.

From the time I didn't know anything.

It's truly fascinating what life has to offer and how it moulds you, sometimes without you even knowing.

As attentive as you would be when listening to someone who had a really exciting life story to tell, treat yourself with the same attentiveness and prepare to be amazed.


Every facade hides something valuable in forms of experiences and lessons. So what have you learned so far?  
What's your story?

Google: Depression

I've spent the last couple of months or so thinking about nothing and everything, and not once have I found myself somewhere in between these two states of mind. Yet again, a lot has changed during a short period of time. I'm left puzzled and frustrated because of it. Apparantly, I came to a crossroad without noticing it and now I fully realise that I've gone so far in the wrong direction that finding my way back has become impossible. Or at least that's what it feels like.

You see, there are no recent traumatic events. No recent life changing matters, nor are there any recent epiphanies on my behalf. The only thing that happened; me. It's so contradicting to be at war with myself when that is the person I need the most during my darkest hours. I let myself down gradually and before I know it I'm caught in a negative vicious circle I can't get out of on my own.

In slightly lighter moments like the one I have now, I'm well aware of the fact that finding my way back isn't impossible at all as long as I get a lot of help and a lot of time. I'm also aware of that there are people who've been dealt a bad hand in life and that I'm far from one of them. I'm aware that this feeling of being happy is reachable. I'm aware of that hope, reassurance and contentment exist. During these moments, I'm aware. I might not be able to get there instantly, but at least I'm aware. I suppose the expression is that I see glimpses of light at the end of the tunnel.

Unfortunately, moments like this don't come too often these days, and the absence of them leaves me with... Hell. A place where your thoughts are so far away from the actual truth, where you become so good at twisting everything that you make your own reality that doesn't really exist; an isolated world where sadness, pain, emptiness, anxiety, insecurity and apathy dominates. The worst part is that you end up living in it, which makes it real enough.

Everyone faces hardship during their life. Experiencing misery and trials is inevitable. Even though it's important to be strong, many people don't always have the capacity to take the most reasonable road to recovery. I've accepted that I'm one of those people. Overall, it's OK. It's perfectly OK if you can't make lemonade out of every single lemon that is thrown at you.

Full of temporary hope, I'm writing this to tell you that I will eventually be fine. I also want to tell you that in 90 % of the time, I won't believe the latter sentence I just wrote. During this period of recovery, though, I won't be the person you initially know and love (or hate). All I'm asking for is patience and persistence in those who care. And that you all haven't disappeared when I come out strong in the end.